The game was really good. The ending made me want to eat my own eyes.
Now here is my problem though. I don't know if I just missed some key information around the end, or if it really makes as little sense as I am about to make it seem. So in order for you to deduce that for yourself, there are some....interesting facts about me that you must first learn.
I form really strange attachments to specific video game characters; these attachments are formed without rhyme or reason. I have no control over who they are formed towards. And they have to be unhealthy.
In Skyrim, it was Meeko the dog. When I lost sight of Meeko, I literally started hyperventilating. My dad walked in the room right when I found his corpse laying in a circle of dead bandits. I screamed. My dad laughed. I kicked him out of my room so I could morn in peace.
In Gears of war (I can't remember if it's the first or second one because I played the first two one right after the other so they blend together) it was Carmine. Carmine is the most useless player ever made. I can admit that. You never even see his face. The fact that he even has a name is incredible. I knew the second he entered the game that his death would be close followed. But for some reason, I still loved him beyond explanation. When he died (a very brutal death, mind) I threw down my controller for a good few hours before I was ready to continue with the story.
But none of these attachments compares to the one I formed during the mass effect series. His name is Garrus, and he is the greatest character ever made. I don't know why I like him as much as I do, maybe it's his sarcastic charm, or witty humor. Maybe it's just his ridiculously sexy voice. Whatever the reason; I have some sort of indescribable need to keep him alive.
Now, since Garrus has survived much longer than any other character I've ever had this bond for (two games is a big step up from ten minutes), naturally, I was very worried for him during my gameplay of mass effect 3. Actually, very worried doesn't really cover it. I was literally cowering in fear every time he wasn't in a cut scene. Not once did I form a party that he wasn't in; he had to be at my side always. In the romance scene between Garrus and my Shepard, Garrus took us to the top of the Presidum. (It's pretty much a giant beam WAYYY above the water and just under the traffic from the flying cars). I don't think I remember anything either of them said to each other. I was too busy having a nervous break down over the idea of Garrus slipping and falling to his death (He's not that graceful), or a shuttle comming in too low and taking him out (it's physically impossible for Turians to duck).
Like I said...I'm insane.
I think he started getting annoyed with my strange determination to keep him alive. In the Normandy (the space ship we live on), he started saying things like "Not now" and "I'm a little busy" in a very snarky tone. I remember answering (probably aloud) "I'm your fucking girlfriend! Don't 'not now' me!"
......yeah....
So anyway, now that you understand the lengths I would go to keep Garrus safe, you might understand my distraction in the final battle.
Garrus was in my team, as always, and I got a bit distracted after the cut scene of what was the final fight (okay, i didn't think it was the final fight, so I started eating a sandwitch....yeah, I know, I'm an idiot.)
Regardless, I was distracted. Next thing I know, I'm at the top of some hill with a Reaper( a giant, powerful, super intellegent machine of an alien hell bent on destroying all organic life) firing it's incinerating laser down at me and all the men around me.
First thing I notice is that my squadmates are no longer in my party. So I freak out.
"Garrus!" I think I actually screamed, "Garrus! Where are you?!?!"
That's when the car in front of me explodes after being hit by a Reaper laser. I freak out more, because all those cars look the same and I was just in one with my squad.
So I do the only thing I can do. I run. I run to the men in front of me, thinking they might be Turians only to find that they are just ugly humans. then they explode. So I move on to the next. And the cycle continues until I myself am shot by the laser.
Shepard survives(because Shepard is a bamf), but is barely alive. I have to fight a few husks (zombie like robots) in my crippled state. And then I can move around a bit (move is a subjective term. It was more like hobble. It was kind of like Chiara after she was broken by the horse, only slower).
There are dead human bodys laying around, and I think "Okay, maybe Garrus is just laying around here too. No way would that kill him, he survived a fucking missle to the face in the last game!"
So then, for some reason, I think maybe he's hiding behind the crate in front of me.
I swear, Bioware had to have predicted my insanity and what happened next was just cruel.
A turian popped up from under cover from behind the very crate I was staring at. I was in shock. I saw the familiar blue color, and weird head spikey things and rejoiced.
Then the turian shot me and I realized it was a reaper turian.
My anger and frustration channeled into the perfect head shot, and I limped (quite awkwardly) into the stupid portal that took me into the cidadel. (The Cidadel is the home to the coucil of aliens that govern the galaxy. It was created by the Reapers before any species alive where actually created. It is also the final piece to the Crucible, which is the only weapon that can defeat Reapers. The Crucible was built with the idea of using Reaper tech against them. So it channels the Cidadel's power into an all powerful force of hell.)
I didn't really pay too much attention to the Illusive man, who was clearly under Reaper control. How he didn't know that was startling. Just look at his neck!
So all I wanted was to get him dead and find Garrus. He said something about controlling the Reapers, and I convinced him to kill himself. That's about as much as I got from that conversation.
Then, I went up into the Cidadel itself. The weapon thing that will be used to defeat the Reapers. I had to activate it from my end (The reaper created end), not the General's end (the organic species end).
Hm...okay....overlooking that....
SO i go find the Catalyst (which is the part of the Crucible found on the Cidadel) and what do I find? A weird little human boy hologram thing. He says he is the catalyst.
Okay.....maybe the way the Reapers made it had me seeing whatever I wanted to see? Maybe? Yeah, sure, that makes the fact that it has a human appearance when Humans weren't even alive during the time of its creation make a little sense. Okay, yeah, lets go with that.
So the little boy thing tells me that no one has ever come this far and blah blah blha. He says that the Reapers were never meant to be destroyed. Then he shows me the two distinctly different ways in which I can destroy them.
Wait, what?
The Reapers, the most intelligent and powerful creatures to ever exist ever, who claim there is no way to kill them, BUILT TWO DIFFERENT self destruct buttons THEMSELVES?
So, naturally, as Shepard I assumed there was some unknown third option. I hobbled around for a good 20 minutes shooting anything that looked suspicious and occasionally calling out for Garrus. I thought I would find some new unspoken alternative option and get some weird "SUPER SHEPARD HERO" award.
Yeah. That was wrong. And it took a good 5 mins to hobble over to one of the self destruct buttons. I hobbled around the whole goddamn platform.
Angry, upset, and still searching for Garrus, I did what I had to do.
I destroyed the Reapers. (mostly just because I was sick of hobbling and that was the platform I was closest to....I know, I'm a horrible spokesperson for the galaxy.)
And I died.
I watched Joker (Seth Green), crash land the Normandy on some weird tropical nature resort.
And then, the doors opened and he stepped out.
Followed by Ashley.
and....GARRUS!
I sighed the heaviest sigh of relief before anger swept in
"Garrus, you stupid ass!! How the fuck did you even get on the Normandy!?!?"
As soon as I finished my rant (Garrus always had perfect timing), he smiled. Well, sort of. Turians don't really smile persay. But he looked happy. True, it was because the reapers were all dead, but still. He totally would have laughed at that.
Then I got angry again. "Garrus you bastard! I just DIED! Hello?! Thirty minutes ago you were swearing your undieing love to me you asshole!"
And then, the game was over.
Well, there was some really weird cutscene at the very end with some old man in a forest telling his (I hope grandchild, he was waaaaaaaay to old to have a 7 year old himself) the story of "The Shepard".
If you are wondering "What the fuck did I just read", it's totally okay. I'm wondering what the fuck I just wrote.
I;m wondering what the fuck I just witnessed.
But the one thing that bothers me beyond all else is not "What happened to my other squadmates?" or, "how is this even remotely logical" or anything like that.
But really, how did Garrus get on the Normandy?
